From the moment I first held Lovie in my arms I knew one day that I'd probably have to address the Are you his nanny? conversation. He's a completely different (darker) color family than me (whiter than white). Mostly, from children - their curious minds running rampant with how to put the two of us together. Not thinking that someone so white could have such a delicious little brown berry. And I don't really take offense to that. They are kids. Do I think that it's rude? Of course, but you can't fault kids for their parents shortcomings. And to a certain point kids are going to be kids no matter how much you instill in them to be polite, treat everyone the same, don't talk about others who look different, etc.
What surprises me are the number of ADULTS who within ear shot of Lovie will question me, more than once mind you, in sheer disbelief, of whether or not I'm his mother. Lately, there have been three such instances and I don't know whether to be appalled or admired by their gall.
#1 Sweet Frog (fro-yo joint)
Mr. Nonmomjeans and Baby Sister are getting their toppings and I'm back helping Lovie get his froyo ... Mister behind us is staring at the interaction not only between me and Lovie but noticing Mr. Nonmomjeans and Baby Sister. I can feel the wheels in his head churning. We proceed to sit down and as a family enjoy and finish our froyo - Mister and his Mrs. sit at the table behind us and have periodically smiled and flirted with both children. As I'm getting up to throw our trash away, with Lovie in tow being a helper, Mister asks "Is he yours?" to which I respond yes and that he's almost five. To which he says, "REALLY!?! He's yours? He's so much darker than you!?!" Lovie is right there. Standing next to me. I say pointedly, Yes. He is. And walk away.
Mr. Nonmomjeans and Baby Sister are getting their toppings and I'm back helping Lovie get his froyo ... Mister behind us is staring at the interaction not only between me and Lovie but noticing Mr. Nonmomjeans and Baby Sister. I can feel the wheels in his head churning. We proceed to sit down and as a family enjoy and finish our froyo - Mister and his Mrs. sit at the table behind us and have periodically smiled and flirted with both children. As I'm getting up to throw our trash away, with Lovie in tow being a helper, Mister asks "Is he yours?" to which I respond yes and that he's almost five. To which he says, "REALLY!?! He's yours? He's so much darker than you!?!" Lovie is right there. Standing next to me. I say pointedly, Yes. He is. And walk away.
I'm always caught off guard by situations like this. My blood was boiling and I would've loved to have thrown my trash in his face and say something like mind your own G.D. business. But I'm too nice. I think I'm caught off guard by people asking such questions in general. Because I would just NEVER EVER do that. Especially, with the child in question standing right there. And quite frankly, I don't care what your family situation is. I don't care if you don't look like your children. You're a happy family. That's all that matters. It's none of my business how you got that way.
#2 Pool
Child instance. To which I am somewhat less disgusted by, but again with Lovie right there asks me "Is that your son?" Yes he's my son. "Are you sure he's your son." Yes; he's my son. "He doesn't look like you at all." I wish I knew where this child's parents were sitting.
Child instance. To which I am somewhat less disgusted by, but again with Lovie right there asks me "Is that your son?" Yes he's my son. "Are you sure he's your son." Yes; he's my son. "He doesn't look like you at all." I wish I knew where this child's parents were sitting.
#3 Busch Gardens
Standing in line for Elmo's Rollercoaster - Gentleman with his son in tow ask "Is he yours?" Yep. "Really?!? He's so tan. Like really, really tan." Yes he sure is and we should all be so lucky - was my response.
Standing in line for Elmo's Rollercoaster - Gentleman with his son in tow ask "Is he yours?" Yep. "Really?!? He's so tan. Like really, really tan." Yes he sure is and we should all be so lucky - was my response.
I really have to start thinking of something witty/sarcastic and disrespectful back to these assholes. The amount of disrespect they feel they can show in front of my child is horrific. But you know what, part of me handles it in a cool, calm manner because I don't want to draw any more attention to it in front of Lovie than is necessary. And quite frankly, five is not the time to have the heart-to-heart discussion with him about why he is shades darker than the rest of his family.
And guess what. HE has yet to ask WHY he LOOKS different because he doesn't see color. He just sees love.
