These are some of the things my favorite LIVING things cannot do ...

All of our kids are good at SOMEthing. I don't care how disrespectful, or bad at listening they are, they are good at something. Believe me. It's not lost on me that kids are blessings.

But, it's also OK to acknowledge that our little blessings aren't 100% all of the time; and aren't perfect at everything all of the time. Fortunately, for you, I have come to terms with my purpose in life:

To make others feel good about ALL THE THINGS that may go wrong in their lives because everything, but especially craft things and cooking things, tends to go wrong in MY life. But I ESPECIALLY do not craft.

I struggle because I feel like I hit the kid jackpot because I have three kids who, at my helm, love getting lost, new adventures and have really, really GREAT self esteem. But then, I just can't deny that they are really,  realllllllly BAD at a lot of things. Maybe this just means I need to get out more?

Here are just a few of things at which my favorite things do NOT excel:

1. Brushing their teeth
Regarding this most mission critical act of personal hygiene, my kids are awful. Meaning, they are forever brushing their teeth. I get that it's the go-to stall tactic at bedtime. But my kids use this as their stall tactic for existing in life. Weekends? Brushing their teeth. Before we are leaving for anywhere? Brushing their teeth. Late to get anywhere? Someone's brushing away. Always. So. Either they will need gum grafts in the next year, or we will have to start investing in toothbrush companies because I feeeeeeel like we're kinna keeping them in business right now.

Sitting ON the counter is the only effective way to brush your teeth, FYI.

Suuuuure, brushing your teeth is great until you have toothbrush dribble all over your house, your kids clothes, your clothes, your dog, your leather sectional ...

This toothbrush was soon acquired by Walter (read: the dog literally ate it).

2. Throwing things away
I cut Abigail's hair last week, and this is what she did with her hair that fell on the floor:

I'ts amazing how much we can love them. 

It's totally normal to keep your non-first-haircut-hair in a sandwich baggy, right? I know. She'll be making skin suits out of the people she keeps in her basement. It's ok. We'll stay on top of it.

3. Flushing the GD toilet
No explanation necessary. Also, this isn't singular to the males in the house ... they are all deplorable at expelling their deplorables into the potty .... and being SANITARY about it in the process ...

So. Gross.

4. Eating
These eggs are from this morning, pic taken after lunch. Yet, these Base 10 Blocks a learning tool are "cake" ... what am I missing here??? Clearly, something is being lost in translation??

As we came downstairs, from putting them to bed, I stumbled across a package of Hormel pepperoni in the playroom??? Where am I when they raid my refrigerator???

5. Distinguishing toys vs anything
These are Scrub Daddy's. We are gigantic Shark Tank fans, the Scrub Daddy is their most, if not one of their most, successful products to date. I am here to assure you that they are LIFE CHANGING!!
Here's a picture of the girls using them as dance partners:

#dontmakemecallyourdaddy

6. Using the counter top for its intended purpose
This picture was taken right before dinner but it's a good picture of what my life looks like at 8am, 10am, 11am, Noon, 1pm, 2pm ... go pick up kids ... 4pm, 5pm, 6pm ... and repeat ...

Yummmm ... honey ... Yummmm ... Chardonnay ... 

BUT!! If all their missteps mean that I get to console myself with this ... then please meet the sixth member of our family ... the effect that the three causes, cause ... sweet, sweet wine. Cheers!!

I *heart* you, Chloe!!!!

2017 Update

So far, 2017 has been off to a great start. Except for the fact that it looks like I have ringworm on my forehead where I burnt myself with the straightener ...

Not ringworm.

Fortunately, this will heal. Some wounds take longer. Like the one I received on New Years Eve, which truly blew my mind. 

You see, I love The Rolling Stones. The musicians not the magazine. Growing up, my parents exposed my brothers and me to some AMAZING music ... Motown, The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Sinatra, Eric Clapton, just to name a few. It was great. NYE the kids were watching Despicable Me which has an awesome soundtrack by the way and The Rolling Stones come on during a scene and I sing along to the lyrics how I have for my ENTIRE LIFE:

"... It's just your 1930's breakdown ..." 

I hollered out to my husband to "Add this song to our playlist!! It's one of my favorites!!" He responds with, "What's the title?!" To which I respond with, "1930's Breakdown!!!" Gosh. Get it together, husband. To which he comes in to the bathroom and unloads the bombshell:

It's actually called 19th Nervous Breakdown. Love you.

SHUT UP!!!!! So you mean to tell me this isn't a song about The Great Depression!?!? Which admittedly, looking back, is odd that The Stones would be singing about that. But. My mind was/is blown. All my life. Still kinda in shock? Not sure I can trust myself? Feeling a little ... let down.

Not gonna lie, it may take a while to get over this one. So, I want to know, what's a learning experience you've had so far in 2017?