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"You're Breaking Up...Can You Hear Me Now?"

No, friends, this isn't a blog about Verizon Wireless. This happens to be a phrase that was used far too many times during communication with a very BAD date I just had through a certain popular on-line dating site that rhymes with "hatch.com." That should've been the tip off right there. There's something to be said for people posting accurate pictures of themselves. Like this one, for instance, of me: This is exactly how I look on a non-rainy day. In which case, I look more like this: He on the other hand looked nothing like his picture. Oh...you mean you wear glasses!?! Oh...you're BALD!?! Oh...you're not ATHLETIC as you appeared to be in your HATCH.COM picture?!? Your picture shows you with no mention of glasses, hair and looking quite average. Note to readers: I'm fine with average. I'm average. I'm not fine with misrepresenting yourself. Liars. *sigh* Luckily, there were a few glimmers of silver lining in this date:

• It was a lunch date
• It was a lunch date at Olive Garden
• It was a lunch date at Olive Garden and we both ordered things that were brought out FAST
• It was a lunch date at Olive Garden and we both ordered things that were brought out FAST and we took no longer than an hour THANK YOU BABY JESUS
• It was a lunch date at Olive Garden THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN IN THE HISTORY OF EVER

Readers beware of men wearing these glasses: http://www.ray-ban.com/USA/

My Wish...

Those who know me best, know that I love rap music and that I'd like to be a rapper if I could. Therefore, my wish is that if I could be a rapper I'd be Ludacris. So, ummm, there really isn't much more to say than that... But, seeing as this is a blog, and you're here reading it, I'll take the liberty to elaborate. Obviously, his Mom & Dad didn't name him Ludacris. Come on. This clever fellow came up with that on his own. They just helped lay groundwork for what would come to be one of the best rap names out there. Ludacrous in the dictionary means eccentric. His real name is Christopher Bridges. I'm a sucker for puns. Now, I'm not a big fan of spelling Chris "Cris" but that's a minor speed bump that I'm willing to over look. I'd imagine since we are on the same wave length, him and I, that he gave himself a certain number of letters that could be in his rap name and adding the "h" would ruin the whole equation. My man Luda as he likes to be called broke away from the hard core gangsta rap scene early. He has an education from Georgia State University and due to his stint as a DJ he knows what the people want: infectious beats and good lyrics that you can UNDERSTAND. This makes him one of the only rappers aside from Nelly who you can karaoke to. Luda doesn't get caught up in the rap world tit-for-tat battle, pulling guns out and starting something with other rappers. He includes guns and glocks in his rhymes but that's part of the deal, you see. Comes with territory if you will. I think this is because he's too busy garnering awards and collaborating with artists like Kylie Minogue, Alicia Keys and Mary J. Blige. Another big plus for Luda is that he doesn't have an affinity for young girls and peeing on them kudos, Luda, kudos. When he's interviewed he always sounds intelligent and doesn't mumble . You may remember or not that Oprah dissed him on her show when she had the cast of Crash on for winning the Best Picture OSCAR. I love Oprah but this was rude of her: she was interviewing the cast and when she got to him, decided to ask about his rap lyrics instead of about his part in the movie. I'd imagine his feelings were quite hurt. She later issued an apology and he handled the situation with aplomb pretty good SAT word there huh? And I used it while talking about a rapper!. Luda has a penchant for dressing nicely and has evolved over the years into a more classy look. This could be due to him winning an OSCAR for Best Picture in Crash. Not to mention his 3 Grammy wins and 12 nominations. don't you feel like you KNOW him now!

Adolescence does not = Late Twenties

I'm a new 27; meaning I just turned it in March. As a 27 year-old, you expect certain things that you experienced in your wretched 13, 14, 15 stage to be over. O-V-E-R. Apparently, though I'm going through a bit of regression. Here's what I'm experiencing:

1. Acne. My face looks like I've just hit puberty. It's like a lil mine field. Especially the foreheadular area. At first I thought it was due to not washing my make-up off before I exercise. Because when I exercise I sweat a lot. No, no I don't think you heard me A LOT. I've started washing my face before I exercise now and I'm not seeing noticable results. I'm going to go ahead and blame this on what all women get the joy to blame things on: Hormones. Girls go ahead and hurry up and regulate yourselves. I don't LIKE acne. Kay?!?
2. Bad Hair. There's no freaking excuse for this. When you're in your adolescence everyone has bad hair, because your hands are still too little to manipulate a hair brush AND a blow-dryer. In your late 2o's it's expected that you've had MANY years to profect this craft and therefore bad hair days, everyday is uncalled for. I want to blame my hair dresser but I don't think it's his fault. I think it's just me doing something wrong. Horribly and frightfully wrong. Perhaps I will conduct and experiment and switch shampoo/conditioner.
3. No rear-end. I don't have a butt. I was hoping that after having Bean, I'd have a nice healthy rump to shake around. Butt, har! I don't. In fact most adolescents don't either. So, my backside is regressing also. That's not good. My Mom has a great butt. I didn't get those genes apparnetly. My best bud Jec-Jec has a great rear too. We lived next-door to each other for 19 years, you'd think some of those butt genes would've leaped over the driveway. I'm running and walking hills like you wouldn't believe to try and get a rear end. Maybe by the time I'm 30 I'll be there and won't look like a little boy in the butt department.
4. No boyfriend. As an adolescent most of us were too awkward to have boyfriends. Some of us were even still playing with Barbies and dolls in adolescence. Since there's not much sexier than playing with dolls, some of us didn't have boyfriends until college. We might have noticed boys but for the most part in early adolescence boys still had kooties. Apparently, the tides have turned and IIIIII have kooties. I don't play with dolls anymore! I really don't! I mean if you consider Bean a doll, then ya, I guess I do. But seriously. No Barbies. No dolls. No kooties!!!!

So, hopefully, this akward post-adolescent stage will come an abrupt halt soon. It's getting me all worked up and whatnot! And not in a good way.

Beijing 2008 - My overall thoughts and feelings and yes, issues

I, for one, love the Olympics. Especially the Summer ones. Favorite events include: Swimming, Diving, Rowing, Gym-nice-tics and Track & Field. Another favorite is looking at the incredible bodies these athletes possess. It's amazing to me to have THAT much muscle on one human being. Talk about pushing your body to it's LIMIT. But that's neither here nor there. What I don't like about the Olympics are: the time difference, commercials, and the commentators. OMG. They are awful. They make "pulling an achilles tendon" sound as if the superhumaniod/athlete was a.) a horrible human being, and a let down to the 9 Billion people who are there watching you not to mention the billions of people watching on TV and b.) that they are the worst athlete in their sport EVER. No hope for them what-so-ever. I don't think they like anyone whose name doesn't start with Michael and end in Phelps. Even poor lil Shawn Johnson who did amazing for a 16 year-old sixxxxteeeennnnnn!!! and placed Silver in the women's all around gymnastics final, is asked questions like "How does it feel to come in second, to not win the gold, to pretty much suck at life at 16????" Of course every athlete's goal is to get gold. Duh. But come on BOB COSTAS, a Silver medal, being the SECOND BEST athlete in their sport in the ENTIRE WORLD isn't so bad either. And for the record, BOB, nice toupee.

Myrtle Beach Vacation: The Last Day and Trip Home

Act 3, Scene 1: Friday, was our last full day in Myrtle. It was hot, but not nearly as hot as it had been. Dad and JCD went to play 9 holes of golf and Nanny & Pop wanted to sit out on the porch. GF went to the gym and Michael wanted to hang out at the pool or fiddle around on the computer. So, Mom, Bean and I decided to go back to the Tanger Outlets and do a lil shopping. What a successful shopping trip. I never have luck at outlet malls but this one was top notch. We found some great purchases. After our successful excursion we wanted to go down to the beach; and enjoy the nice day with the waves. Bean loved the ocean he would just charge towards it. This was a lot scary because we always had to keep a close eye on him.Dad was really good about helping him ride the waves. He thought that was the best thing ever. Playing with/eating the sand was also a hit. Pop came down to the beach with us, so I got this great picture of all 4 of the male generations. I got a great one of Pop and Mom too... Nanny wasn't able to come down to the beach with us, so she observed from the balcony. Here's a good picture of me and Bean, they are few and far between so I have to glean every one that I can! Lookit how dirty we were after our day at the beach! This was taken in the hallway on our way to get showered and then go out for Italian at a great pizzaria called Geno's. Yep. That's right Geno's with an "e" instead of an "i." If that's not thinking out of the proverbal "box" I don't know what is. After dinner we packed up what we could and hit the hay, for our 7:30am wake-up call Saturday morning. *sigh* Act 3, Scene 2: So, we wake up at 7:30am, pack up the rest of our things and make plans to go to Bob Evans for breakfast. Check out wasn't until 9am. So, we leave our toothbrushes out and decide to come back for bathroom brakes and teethbrushing, then check out. This was a great decision because for many i.e. our family Bob Evans = colon cleansing. Not only that, but it really brings out the red necks. We saw one girl who looked like she belonged at the nearest titty bar. And I hate the word titty and any variation of it so you know she looked bad if that's the word I use to describe her. Here's Bean lookin cool in shades in the Bob Evans parking lot.After we were all checked out and the last few things were packed we broke into our travel configurations. For the trip back the Corolla had Me, MBD and Bean; SUV had Mom, JCD and GF and Le Sabre had Dad, Pop & Nanny. Bean hit the hay relatively quickly. Here, is a picture of me and MBD in the front seat from the windsheild's perspective. We saw some great billboards while traveling through SC into NC. Like this one made to look like a wine glass.This one I don't understand. Golf doesn't strike me as a particularly vicious sport. How these "big cats" make their golf course good, or even attractive for avid golfers, is lost on me. Now, I find this next one to be hilarious. The tag line "Cozy Landing Ahead," is for a Hampton Inn at/or near, a Medical Park. Hmm. Doesn't sound so "cozy," all of a sudden, huh? You'll note in the picture below that Bean is in a different outfit from the one he started the trip in. This is because he did a huge job in his pants and it went all over his little legs and car seat and outfit. Thankfully, I packed this one in his diaper bag. So, we pulled over to the nearest non run down gas station and took care of business. We were clear sailing after that. We figured it was from all the sand and salt water he presumably swallowed. Poor lil muffin-head. This plane is worth noting because it was very low flying for a good 5 minutes or so. Soon after we saw it, a cop car appeared right behind us. Lo and behold, it was one of those "Speed monitored by aircraft" planes. I never thought they existed. But apparently they do. And no, none of us were pulled over for speeding.Once we got into Northern NC, almost VA the traffic was completely stopped. Apparently, this was due to a fatal motorcycle accident. Everyone on 95N put their cars into park and got out and milled around, eventually the cops allowed traffic to pass. Luckily, it was gorgeous out and not rainy/hot. We hit one other spot of traffic on the ride home, making it the longest 6 hour trip in history. It took a restless 8 or so hours to get home. All, in all this was a great vacation. I was so grateful to be able to go with the family this year. With this much excitement in Myrtle Beach, I can't wait to see what next year holds! Byebye for now!

Myrtle Beach: The Guts of the Vacation

Act 2: Scene 1 On Saturday, August 2 my Dad's second to youngest sister Aunt J and Uncle R and my cousins also arrived in Myrtle Beach. They traveled from Jersey so they were pooped. And after our wretched K&W experience we were too disgruntled to congregate. We made plans to go out to dinner Sunday night and then come back to our condo. Sunday during the day was filled with keeping Bean occupied and away from the balcony... And going down to the beach and the pool. We enjoyed the pool a lot, it came with a lazy river! However, the river wasn't that lazy. It was pretty fast moving. Walking against the current was a nice thighular area work out. Later that night we decided to meet up with Aunt J and Uncle R and fam and go to Carrabbas for dinner. Talk about yum. Lots of food, wine, carbs and overall goodness was consumed here. That's Mom and Bean. Note the happy faces on both of them, a far cry from the previous night's nonplused experience. Here are the relatives Aunt J and Uncle R and their beautiful family Lets not forget Nanny & Pop... Looking happy and cute And here's my family! This is a typical family photo for us, someone has their eyes closed, some people aren't smiling, Bean is always distracted, and no matter how good my hair looks at the start of the night it's always frizzed for "photo op hour." Mom always manages to look great though. *sigh* What can you do? After dinner we came back to our condo and played Scrabble. That was the overarching theme... Good food, followed quickly by Scrabble. A perfect vaycay if you ask me. Scene 2 Monday we spent more time at the beach and lazy river. We always had breakfast and lunch at the condo and then would get together with Aunt J and her fam later for dinner and/or afterwards fun. Monday night we ordered in, BBQ and Ribs from Sticky Fingers. What a great name of a restaurant and very fitting and very good. Yep, we played Scrabble afterwards and had various movies playing the background. Family milling around, sounds of waves crashing from out on the balcony, it was a great night. Scene 3 Again, more with the beach and pool. This day was a scorcher. My Dad and brother JCD went to play golf regardless of the disgustingness outside. Brother MBD and GF stayed at the condo and went to the pool. Mom, Bean, Nanny & Pop and I went for a drive into Myrtle Beach and South Myrtle Beach. There's so much new growth and new resorts going up. They were so neat to look at. Not to mention the GORGEOUS beach houses that are on the ocean. I love to drive along and look at houses. For lunch that day we got Wendy's. Very beach-esque, I know. Aunt J and her family went out for mani/pedis and shopping and had a late lunch; because of this we had dinner just our family. Nanny & Pop wanted to go out for an early dinner this night too. So, we decided to go out for Mexican. It was delicious. I got a really spicy chicken dish that made my tongue blister it was so hot! Afterwards we met up with the cousins for a game of Mayday Mini Golf. It was hot and not as much fun as it sounded earlier in the evening. We were happy to be back home in AC! Scene 4 Wednesday was more of the same... Beach, pool. However, we also scoped out the outlet mall down the road, Tanger Outlets. They had some great stores. Bean was super fussy though and was protesting a nap so I didn't try anything on but made note of the stores to come back to. That night we had Thai take-out for dinner. Oh man, talk about yum. We ordered from a place called ENoodles and got a bunch of different dishes and shared them all. Only a few bites were left over. This was followed by more Scrabble and more movies. Scene 5 Thursday was Aunt J and Uncle R and fam's last night in Myrtle Beach. To make it special we made reservations to go out to a local Irish Pub that was supposed to be fantastic, Molly Darcy's. It was fantastic if by fantastic you mean over-priced and smokey. The salmon and Blue Moon were stellar though. The smoke and thunderstorm that happened while we were there was not. Afterwards, we came back to our place and played more Scrabble while watching Catch Me If You Can, SUCH a great movie. Rent it if you haven't seen it, you won't be disappointed. I'm not a big Leo DiCaprio fan, but he was great in this. My Aunt J is an avid Scrabble-er. She's a member of the International Scrabble something-or-other Association. Hard core, huh? I was on my own Scrabble team this night, and I came in second to Aunt J of course. I was very pleased. All that Scrabble had sure payed off! Tomorrow concludes the Myrtle Beach in Three Acts installment! I know I slacked on pictures, but tomorrow will make up for it... Lots more pictures to come!

Myrtle Beach Vacation... In Three Acts

Act 1: The first day, Saturday, August 2 My family and I went to Myrtle Beach, SC for our vacation this summer. If you ever have the opportunity to go, go. There's so much to do and the beach is perfect and the waves are never offensive. Here's a peek at our first day. We took three cars down to Myrtle: the Corolla consisted of Me, my brother MBD and Bean; the Le Sabre carried Mom, Nanny and Pop; the SUV toted Dad, JCD and JCD's GF. Each car was stuffed to the gills with baggage and fun. Our car was the funnest one, of course, if you were a fly on the wall this is what you'd see The ride down was great, MBD was great company. It went fast too, mostly because my lead foot enjoyed the speed limit Once we got into SC I had to use the bathroom BAD! Everyone thought it'd be a good idea to stop at a run down gas station. The whole place was so gross, the bathroom looked as if one too many truckers got serviced by hoes and oddly enough there was a line to use said bathroom. Nasty. Here I am coming back to the car *note smile is due to almost being at destination* Needless to say, bathing in Purel occurred soon after this picture was taken. Not long after this we arrived at our resort, Mar Vista Grande, it's actually located in North Myrtle Beach, there's not as much traffic and newer resorts. We stayed in the Penthouse on the 15th floor, which I wasn't too pleased with. The only differentiator from what I can tell are the high ceilings, which I could live without. The only redeeming factor was the incredible balcony view of the ocean. Here's what our place looked like from the ocean We were all pretty tired once we arrived and unpacked the cars, so we decided to go to K&W Cafeteria. This was because my grandparents couldn't stop talking about it. Apparently, 20 or so years ago it was EXCELLENT. Now, however, it's so stale and greasy that we vowed and the grandparents agreed to never go back. The only good thing about it was Bean's high chair, it had wheels on the bottom and I pushed him really fast up and down the aisles, he loved it. The nonplused look on his face sums up our K&W experience. Here we are in front of K&W, thought I'd capture this so we can look back on it any time we need to make ourselves throw up This concludes our drive down/first day, hope it was a good one! Stay tuned for Act 2 tomorrow! Nighty, night :)