Adolescence does not = Late Twenties

I'm a new 27; meaning I just turned it in March. As a 27 year-old, you expect certain things that you experienced in your wretched 13, 14, 15 stage to be over. O-V-E-R. Apparently, though I'm going through a bit of regression. Here's what I'm experiencing:

1. Acne. My face looks like I've just hit puberty. It's like a lil mine field. Especially the foreheadular area. At first I thought it was due to not washing my make-up off before I exercise. Because when I exercise I sweat a lot. No, no I don't think you heard me A LOT. I've started washing my face before I exercise now and I'm not seeing noticable results. I'm going to go ahead and blame this on what all women get the joy to blame things on: Hormones. Girls go ahead and hurry up and regulate yourselves. I don't LIKE acne. Kay?!?
2. Bad Hair. There's no freaking excuse for this. When you're in your adolescence everyone has bad hair, because your hands are still too little to manipulate a hair brush AND a blow-dryer. In your late 2o's it's expected that you've had MANY years to profect this craft and therefore bad hair days, everyday is uncalled for. I want to blame my hair dresser but I don't think it's his fault. I think it's just me doing something wrong. Horribly and frightfully wrong. Perhaps I will conduct and experiment and switch shampoo/conditioner.
3. No rear-end. I don't have a butt. I was hoping that after having Bean, I'd have a nice healthy rump to shake around. Butt, har! I don't. In fact most adolescents don't either. So, my backside is regressing also. That's not good. My Mom has a great butt. I didn't get those genes apparnetly. My best bud Jec-Jec has a great rear too. We lived next-door to each other for 19 years, you'd think some of those butt genes would've leaped over the driveway. I'm running and walking hills like you wouldn't believe to try and get a rear end. Maybe by the time I'm 30 I'll be there and won't look like a little boy in the butt department.
4. No boyfriend. As an adolescent most of us were too awkward to have boyfriends. Some of us were even still playing with Barbies and dolls in adolescence. Since there's not much sexier than playing with dolls, some of us didn't have boyfriends until college. We might have noticed boys but for the most part in early adolescence boys still had kooties. Apparently, the tides have turned and IIIIII have kooties. I don't play with dolls anymore! I really don't! I mean if you consider Bean a doll, then ya, I guess I do. But seriously. No Barbies. No dolls. No kooties!!!!

So, hopefully, this akward post-adolescent stage will come an abrupt halt soon. It's getting me all worked up and whatnot! And not in a good way.