The other day we registered Lovie for soccer. He is so excited about it and it will be a great experience for all of us, I think. On our way back from registration, Mike made the oh so witty comment: "Now it's official. You're a soccer Mom." My response was a happy one. I am so happy that I get to be a soccer Mom because I can totally bust that myth into the water. The only thing I agree with Soccer Mom's on is being their children's #1 Fan. I am wholeheartedly behind that.
You had best believe that I will be supporting Lovie 100%. I may even make a sign. And I will of course wear his team color. I'll be rooting him on the whole time.
You will never, ever catch me in a minivan though. Nor will I ever embarass him with jorts, tube tops or the like. I will also shun from my wardrobe the soccer mom jean jumper and wooden apple necklaces.
I like to think I'm a cool, hip Mom. And if there's one thing that's for sure I love my Lovie more than anything. I can't wait to experience this with him and I look forward to being Team Mom. Orange slices and juice boxes here I come!!
September 3, 2010
Non-Drifts
Non-drifts are mid-drift tops gone awry, that found themselves on wrongful owners. Today we witnessed two such occassions - one was outside a department store and the other was IN Kroger. This epidemic isn't singularly limited to women. Oh no. Our Kroger culprit was a male. That's correct a male.
Let's start with the department store non-drift. It's warm in Richmond, yes. And I can imagine that if you are smoker it's especially warm. Tonight, Lovely was sitting outside, enjoying a smoke in her mid-drift baring black tank top. Yum. Her belly button fat roll was especially delightful. Hopefully, she wasn't dressed FOR work and was instead dressed for LEAVING work.
Next was our Kroger experience. In the meat aisle was Sexy. He was large, in a Yankees hat and shirt (oh curses!) and jorts (foul #1) with the waistband of his underwear folded over the top of his jorts waistband. You are probably asking yourself: "How does she know that?" Welp, cause his shirt didn't meet his pants that's how. And he had stretch marks on his belly. "How does she know THAT?" Cause his shirt also didn't cover his belly. Yum and YUM.
You really have to wonder if people own a mirror. Not everyone has to be a stick figure to look good, or hell even appropriate. All we really need are some pants that fit and shirt that covers the appropriate areas. Especially in public.
Non-drifts and jorts. Double whammy.
Happy Labor Day!
Let's start with the department store non-drift. It's warm in Richmond, yes. And I can imagine that if you are smoker it's especially warm. Tonight, Lovely was sitting outside, enjoying a smoke in her mid-drift baring black tank top. Yum. Her belly button fat roll was especially delightful. Hopefully, she wasn't dressed FOR work and was instead dressed for LEAVING work.
Next was our Kroger experience. In the meat aisle was Sexy. He was large, in a Yankees hat and shirt (oh curses!) and jorts (foul #1) with the waistband of his underwear folded over the top of his jorts waistband. You are probably asking yourself: "How does she know that?" Welp, cause his shirt didn't meet his pants that's how. And he had stretch marks on his belly. "How does she know THAT?" Cause his shirt also didn't cover his belly. Yum and YUM.
You really have to wonder if people own a mirror. Not everyone has to be a stick figure to look good, or hell even appropriate. All we really need are some pants that fit and shirt that covers the appropriate areas. Especially in public.
Non-drifts and jorts. Double whammy.
Happy Labor Day!
August 9, 2010
Gray Day
Gray is a truly miserable color. Tonight I made the wretched (and turns out disgusting) mistake of wearing a gray shirt to my class at the gym ... Body Combat. Yes, it's high intensity. Yes, you sweat your tail off. So, needless to say I walked out of class not looking like I worked my tail off for the last hour but more like I have a glandular issue that is so not under control.
But I find that even with just gray shirts in general, they absorb and announce to the world, the smallest drop of sweat and make it look like you have pit stains from hell, when really, you aren't THAT hot. However, unbeknown to you, your gray shirt is announcing to the world that you are sweaty. You've been REALLY shopping, maybe even decided to make a race out of it. Like a 5K or something. Hot. (Literally.)
Thank gawd I don't own gray workout pants. Nor will I ever. Can you imagine how utterly disgusting that would've been?!? I would've looked like I either peed them, my water broke or my vajj has a glandular issue. Joy.
Word to the wise. Beware of gray in the world of workout gear. Be smart and stick to gray's cooler and sexier sibling ...black.
But I find that even with just gray shirts in general, they absorb and announce to the world, the smallest drop of sweat and make it look like you have pit stains from hell, when really, you aren't THAT hot. However, unbeknown to you, your gray shirt is announcing to the world that you are sweaty. You've been REALLY shopping, maybe even decided to make a race out of it. Like a 5K or something. Hot. (Literally.)
Thank gawd I don't own gray workout pants. Nor will I ever. Can you imagine how utterly disgusting that would've been?!? I would've looked like I either peed them, my water broke or my vajj has a glandular issue. Joy.
Word to the wise. Beware of gray in the world of workout gear. Be smart and stick to gray's cooler and sexier sibling ...black.
July 6, 2010
Vacay Dropping
First, a quick dialogue heard today in DSW:
Woman #1: You aren't getting anything?!?
Woman#2: No. I'm going to spend my money in HAWAII. Plus, those hiking boots I got last year when we went to HAWAII were perfect and so comfortable for walking on the VOLCANOES.
There are a couple of things to note here. For starters the vacay dropping. We love the fact that you've been to Hawaii at LEAST twice Woman #2, but really? In DSW? Second, I sense that someone's bitter about walking out of DSW empty handed. I mean, how can that really happen? The law of averages in that place is INSANE. They have so many shoes that it's nearly impossible to not find something. And everything is typically, always on sale. It's like a shoe Macy's - they have sales just 'cause.
What gets me is that Woman #2 was there when I got there. So, she was trying to decide what shoes to get for Hawaii for quite some time (I was there for an hour and she was in front of me in line). And I'm the most indecisive person in the world. Wait. I stand corrected. She did end up with a purchase for Hawaii - she ended up getting an umbrella. Because you'll need an umbrella MORE in Hawaii than you will a pair super cute sandals. Whatever.
Can you imagine what this woman is like after an "all's clear" yearly. Or how she was when she found out she was preggers?? (She had her daughter with her - which is why there's the preggers comment. Daughter was very distraught that money was being saved for Hawaii, because she wanted a pair of sandals and was extremely unhappy about the decision to get an umbrella instead - wtf?!?) I bet she celebrated with a shoe-less trip to Hawaii.
Standing behind them in line I kept to myself that I very happily found a pair of shoes that will be donned under the most beautiful dress in the world, a dress more beautiful than Hawaii - my wedding dress.
Except for now :)
Woman #1: You aren't getting anything?!?
Woman#2: No. I'm going to spend my money in HAWAII. Plus, those hiking boots I got last year when we went to HAWAII were perfect and so comfortable for walking on the VOLCANOES.
There are a couple of things to note here. For starters the vacay dropping. We love the fact that you've been to Hawaii at LEAST twice Woman #2, but really? In DSW? Second, I sense that someone's bitter about walking out of DSW empty handed. I mean, how can that really happen? The law of averages in that place is INSANE. They have so many shoes that it's nearly impossible to not find something. And everything is typically, always on sale. It's like a shoe Macy's - they have sales just 'cause.
What gets me is that Woman #2 was there when I got there. So, she was trying to decide what shoes to get for Hawaii for quite some time (I was there for an hour and she was in front of me in line). And I'm the most indecisive person in the world. Wait. I stand corrected. She did end up with a purchase for Hawaii - she ended up getting an umbrella. Because you'll need an umbrella MORE in Hawaii than you will a pair super cute sandals. Whatever.
Can you imagine what this woman is like after an "all's clear" yearly. Or how she was when she found out she was preggers?? (She had her daughter with her - which is why there's the preggers comment. Daughter was very distraught that money was being saved for Hawaii, because she wanted a pair of sandals and was extremely unhappy about the decision to get an umbrella instead - wtf?!?) I bet she celebrated with a shoe-less trip to Hawaii.
Standing behind them in line I kept to myself that I very happily found a pair of shoes that will be donned under the most beautiful dress in the world, a dress more beautiful than Hawaii - my wedding dress.
Except for now :)
June 18, 2010
Really? You're going to ask about that in the elevator??
I get that summer is about spending time outdoors. Often times people can tell that you did so by the golden color of your skin - or sometimes the red color if you aren't as careful. Which I guess is what I'm trying to get at. Time in the sun doesn't equal younger appearance or smaller waistlines. It may give that impression. At first. But down the line you are going to look like a 70 year old leather jacket by the age of 35. When, I ask you, has that EVER been the epitomy of cute, praytell?!?
What spawned this thought process and subsequent blog is the following conversation between me and a coworker of mine in the elevator at lunch time.
Me: Hey! How are you doing? Did you have a good weekend?
Coworker: I'm good it was great!
Me: Yeah it was so hot out - we just relaxed by the (cutoff by coworker)
Coworker: Yea, you don't look like you spent ANY time outside. (coworker exits elevator)
I was left a little dumbfounded by this conversation. A.) because where do my coworkers get off reminding me of the fact that I am pasty white? B.) since when is being tan at work a requirement - so what, you're going give me a lower performance review because I am not golden brown?!? Don't even. (but may not put it past them) C.) this coworker was male. Since when do guys care about tans? And! Moreover, most guys I know like young, fertile looking women. Not leather jackety, alligator skin looking 30 year olds.
I have a man at home who loves me & all my pasty white glory. And if he doesn't he does a really good job of hiding it. Keep up the good work honey!
I'm baaaaack
So, I know I haven't blogged here in a while. Life got a bit crazy. What with getting involved with a serious relationship that snowballed into an engagement and now planning for a wedding in November - to managing life with a rambunctious 3 year old - to working like crazy - to exercising - and then trying to make time for Mike and I to enjoy each others company. There some days where I feel like even if I WANTED to blog I couldn't physically bring myself to do so.
Now that I have realized how much I have MISSED blogging. I'm getting back into it. And I'm really excited about it.
This blog will still remain the non-sensical blog about really nothing blog, and my other blog will still remain the wedding events and goings on blog.
Keep coming back for more!
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