Judgement Day

Recently, while my husband was in India, I was blessed with being on the receiving end of judgement regarding everything that I am doing wrong from how I am raising my kids, to how poorly I keep my home and how I am creating a poor relationship with my husband. Aside from hurting my feelings, it was an eye opening experience that still has me reflecting. As a result of this self reflection, I can tell you one thing: 

If you are going to judge, the best kind of judgement is the kind you keep to yourself. 

Now stop right there. Don't even think that this doesn't apply to you because you never judge. We all do it. It's human nature and not a bad thing. Usually, the first sign you're judging someone is saying that you're not judging them or anyone else.  

With the judgement that was passed along to me, my perceived poor relationship with my husband is probably because I am a Straight Up Bitch. I think I've known this all along, it was just a matter of admitting it.

When my husband got back from India, he had dysentery.

Fever. Chills. ETC etc. It's like he was living the game, Oregon Trail: Third World Country Edition. He was sick all weekend. Like so sick, I've never seen him so sick, sick. So, when Monday rolled around and he was miraculously better like able to go back to work better  I channeled my inner Straight Up Bitch. To get bitchy quickly, since I have poor time management, I first got cocky because I am so good at doing everything. Second I accused him of faking his dysentery. Then third I told him to get back in the GD covered wagon because I WANT ALL OF THE DEER AND BEAR MEAT not the 10% you tried to bring.

Congratulations! You were only able to bring 10% of the deer meat home and your family died of starvation. 

Told you that I had it in me all along.

After I apologized for being a bitch, I realized that it's OK for me to enjoy being around my husband. It's OK for me to feel overwhelmed from plowing the path alone for 17 days. It's OK to be a bitch sometimes. And it's OK to not be perfect at everything. But it's also 100% necessary to apologize.

xoxox