Giving Thanks

I'd like to first give a big shout out to my Mom and Dad. Without them, I'd probably be homeless, and/or living the life of Eminem and his Mom in 8 Mile. For serious. They are the best parents. I totally lucked out. Next, lets give a big round of applause to Bean. He's the best baby that ever graced this planet. I can't imagine my life without him. My life didn't start until I had him. And just when I don't think he could get any cuter, another day passes and he wins my heart over even more. He's my muffin-top-head-face-pumpkin-love and I want to eat him alive. Mad props go to stuffing. More importantly the fine folks at Betty Crocker who came up with "Stove Top." Hands down the best stuffing, keep that recipe a secret guys. Like put in a vault or something. Lets give even more props to the Pilgrims and Indians who founded Thanksgiving. Without them, we'd have nothing to do on the 3rd Thursday of November. More importantly, without them we'd have no excuse for gorging ourselves on said stuffing and apple pie and pumpkin pie and turkey, etc. You guys have made us proud. Nicely done. Can I get a what, what, for Facebook. You Facebook-inventer guy have single handedly made me into an addict. Never did I think that I could ever leave Myspace, I just could never fathom a replacement. And then, you go and make Facebook available to EVERYONE. Not just college kids. And I am hooked. Way to keep the sketch factor low on that too, Facebook guy. You done good my friend, you done good. I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving and goodnight to all, and to all a goodnight!!

...I'mmmm gettin olllllder tooooo.....

Everyone always complains about getting older and how awful it is. I'm sure it's not OPTIMAL to get old and feeble, but I also don't think it's as bad as everyone makes it out to be. For one, your hearing my not be as good as it was when you were a young whipper snapper. What's so wrong with this? Now you really CAN have selective hearing and not make any excuses for it. I'd love to not be able to hear nagging or if I was tired and didn't feel like talking anymore, I could just lay back and go to sleep in the middle of a conversation. My grandmother says what ever is on her mind to anyone who so much as bumps their cart into her in line at the grocery store. I'd love to be able to tell people off and not have to worry about them beating me up in the parking lot later. There's nothing worse than being scolded by a senior citizen in the check-out line. Our older counterparts aren't able to walk that fast. This allows them to take in more beauty of nature and their surroundings. They also have a higher awareness of danger. So, they are able to determine a speeder and pick out danger from miles away. I think we could all stand to have a slower pace of life. Maybe then there wouldn't be so many high strung drivers on the road, hmmm? Now, walking around Walmart tires me out. But I can't admit that publicly because I am young. even tho i just did. If I were older, not only would it be OK for me to get tired from the store, but I could come home and take a nap. Then I could have dinner and go to bed early because it was so exhausting. I really like shows like 60 minutes. At least there'd be people to talk about it with. 60 minutes isn't exactly "water cooler" friendly conversation as a young person. Plus, shows like that teach you so much. You don't really get that feeling after watching an episode of The Hills. It seems like the older we get the more socially acceptable it is to wear comfortable clothes like sweat suits and mismatched outfits. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to this. I love sweats. I think it'd be great to not have to THINK about what you were going to wear that day. Or if you wanted to wear sweatpants and a sweat shirt with flip flops you can. All older people tend to LOVE sweets. I do too. But I have to keep trim. So, I don't have them very often. Sounds like a pretty good gig to eat a slice of cake or pie every night after dinner. You know most things in life that bring happiness are the little things. That's one thing that doesn't change no matter your age.

The Night Before Christmas

The night before Christmas always gives me that butterflies in my tummy, anxious kind of feeling. Even now that I am 27. Now that I've admitted to the Universe that I am a huge dweeb, I'll proceed... On this election day, I have that same feeling. It's like I want to tell everyone "Good luck!" or "Go get 'em, Tiger!" Like it's some sporting event against a major rival. Ah! I could just burst. This is so exciting. And everyone's vote DOES matter. So, hopefully since the polls are now closed everyone did. In fact, I was so excited to vote all day. I had it all planned out: 6pm - Get Bean 6:15pm - Feed Bean 6:30pm - Bathe Bean 6:40pm - Leave to vote Of course it didn't go like that. It went more like: 6pm - Nana gets Bean 6:05pm - I get home from work 6:07pm - Nana gets home with Bean 6:10pm - 6:20pm - I'm eating a snack ( I was ravishing, OK!!) 6:20pm - 6:30pm - Bathe Bean 6:35pm - Leave to vote Ok not bad. But then I get to my polling location and I'm super excited and super nervous and they tell me "Your name is not in our system." Woah, bitch. Back up. I'm not waaaaa???? I present them with my I.D. and they go look me up in the "big computer," and lo and behold I'm not in there either. We finally realize that I am not in the system because I changed my address to Maryland when I was living there. Even though, when I moved back when I was gawd-knows-how-pregnant I got all my voting stuff taken care of with the DMV. So, I had to vote provisional. That just SOUNDS like "Your vote prolly won't get counted." Ugh. I am so frustrated!!!! Whores!!!! Moral of this story: All the more reason to hate DMV.

Spring Forward... Fall Back

I love it when the time falls back. Extra sleep can benefit everyone. However, it is disorienting leaving work and having it be PITCH black. Who knew that 6pm is the new black! lololol. Today, I kept thinking "WOW! It's 11??!?! It sure does feel like Noon." lolololol. As I was driving down our hill, one of our neighbors up the street was having her dog POOP in our yard and was quickly walking away WITHOUT picking it up, as I was pulling into the driveway. She walked even faster when she realized that I saw her. It aint THAT dark, sweetheart. I've always wanted to spell "sweet" "sweat." Even tho the WORD "sweet" evokes visions of candy corn and CAKE; and "sweat" evokes visions of tube socks and eating contests.

Do's and Don'ts of Halloween

Do: Dress up for Halloween. Wearing a costume is FUN! Don't: Wear a costume that people don't get. Like me. Tonight I went as a "Slutty Monk" and no one (except for the people I was meeting there) knew what I was. Do: Wear a random costume. Don't: Have that random costume be anything religious. These things apparently only go over well if you are under 2 years of age. Case and Point: Matthew and I wore the same costume. He got comments like "Oh my gosh! This is the best costume of the night!" I got comments like, "What are you? A sack of potatoes? With hooker boots?" Do: Meet new people at the party! Don't: Mention during conversation with these people that you have a kid. Apparently, it's a mood killer! Do: Play beer pong! Don't: Play beer pong sober ;o) Bottom line: What's cute on kids doesn't translate to adulthood and beer pong has lost it's luster. However, this may be because I was NEVER good at it.

Fear and Loathing in Suburban Richmond

Fears: Death, spiders, bugs bigger than a crumb, heights without anything around me (i.e. cliffs), weed eaters Loathes: Knives, razor blades, scones, box cutters, washing cars, ironing. Whether these are legitimate or not is another blog. Erstwhile, enjoy this fun story: I'm practically blind you see haha get it, without my glasses or contacts. Without some sort of optical assistance I am a worthless individual - unless you need a blind friend to just sit somewhere for a few hours. Yesterday, I am in the bathroom without optical assistance. I feel something down at my foot. It's a black mass. I immediately think it's a spider. So. I panic and with my big toe slide/violently kick, it out of the way. OUCH. *(^&?> *&?>!@!D#!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Glasses go on. Aw F an A! That wasn't a spider. It was my razor! And now the bottom of my big toe is missing its top layer of skin. Fannnntastic. Moral of that story: I need lasik. Here's another fun story: This is a picture of two of my most favorite people in the world. Jec-Jec and Jason they are brother and sister. As you can tell from the picture, these kids know how to have a good time. And as children they knew how to have a good time with knives. Yes. Very sharp knives. As a kid I was pretty much afraid of EVERYTHING. I was a total mini-momjeans. I even had the momjean glasses. No, I am not going to scan a picture of THAT. So, I was over playing at their house which was right next door to mines and getting ready to leave when they started taunting me with knives. "OOh are you afraid of this?" they'd say. "Yes! *loud scream*!" I'd reply. This little charade lasted a few more minutes until I bolted for the door. I think they chased/taunted me with knives pretty much every day for like a week long period. Until one day Jason started taunting Jec-Jec and then it wasn't so funny anymore. Moral of that story: If you want a salad with CHOPPED anything in it. You can make it yuns self!

Go On And Get You Some of These...

I usually do not fall victim to carelessly spending money on purely season specific merchandise - for instance dishes that you would use ONLY at Christmas/Halloween/Thanksgiving/Flag Day time. However this Fall, there are few items that require lots of bandwagons, followed by lots of jumping on aforementioned bandwagons: Candy Corn Pumpkins Probably the closest thing to heaven. If Baby Jesus were able to endorse products he'd be all over these. See! There they are. In all their deliciousness, coated in a layer of delicious *sigh*. These, I'll have you know, are one of the main reasons why I look forward to going to work each day lately. OMG! I can't wait for tomorrow! Fall-ish flavored Beer. How delicious are these, guys? I look forward to colder months so that it's socially acceptable to drink darker ales. New Castle always has appeal. Because it's my FAVORITE. Ever. But New Castle in October/November/December is damn near perfect. Sam Adams has a full suite of Fall brews that are just as good as the next. Especially if you drink one of each all in one night, and then you can't really remember if they were good or bad, you just remember them not being Natty Light, and you smile to yourself. And then you remember that you're not in a Frat House that seems to never have toilet paper, ANYWHERE. And you smile even bigger. Hooker Boots. Yep. These are the essence of Fall and look great with skirts that fall to the knee or below or mini skirts if you're a whore. Or dressed as a whore for Halloween ;) Not to mention they are surprisingly comfy. Try some on next time you're at DSW. I think you'll become a fan too. And ladies, you have to admit, we all have a lil, tiny, bit of whore in us somewhere that needs to get out every now and again. These are the perfect way to let her get out and mingle without running the risk of contracting something or getting yourself preggers. Pumpkins. Make great, inexpensive center pieces and just scream FALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Not to mention they serve other purposes as well. Such as: being super good for you, cooking up the seeds and munching on them, and providing endless hours of entertainment for people who enjoy weilding knives and have a steady hand. Personally, I love how they look on people's front stoops. You can always tell how many people are in the family by how many pumpkins are on the stairs. And you can always tell the pumpkin that the lil kids picked out. 9 times outta 10 they are all banged up and mangey lookin. Classic. Corn Mazes.Who wouldda thunk that these could provide such entertainment... For adults. I think in our old age we love to solve things. I know I single handedly feel as though I can solve all the world crisis'; which has nothing to do with my being stubborn and everything to do with my being right :) Which is why corn mazes are so great when you go with kids. Since we are older and therefore wiser they have to follow us. If not for the sole purpose that fun can turn to panic in 5 seconds, when they get lost in the corn maze and have some interaction with the scarecrow. Back to the point, they have to listen to you and you are always right. Your way is always the right way when it comes to the corn maze, even if you are wrong. They'll just think you "got really lucky" and "get to try it out again"...Yay!