"You're Breaking Up...Can You Hear Me Now?"

No, friends, this isn't a blog about Verizon Wireless. This happens to be a phrase that was used far too many times during communication with a very BAD date I just had through a certain popular on-line dating site that rhymes with "hatch.com." That should've been the tip off right there. There's something to be said for people posting accurate pictures of themselves. Like this one, for instance, of me: This is exactly how I look on a non-rainy day. In which case, I look more like this: He on the other hand looked nothing like his picture. Oh...you mean you wear glasses!?! Oh...you're BALD!?! Oh...you're not ATHLETIC as you appeared to be in your HATCH.COM picture?!? Your picture shows you with no mention of glasses, hair and looking quite average. Note to readers: I'm fine with average. I'm average. I'm not fine with misrepresenting yourself. Liars. *sigh* Luckily, there were a few glimmers of silver lining in this date:

• It was a lunch date
• It was a lunch date at Olive Garden
• It was a lunch date at Olive Garden and we both ordered things that were brought out FAST
• It was a lunch date at Olive Garden and we both ordered things that were brought out FAST and we took no longer than an hour THANK YOU BABY JESUS
• It was a lunch date at Olive Garden THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN IN THE HISTORY OF EVER

Readers beware of men wearing these glasses: http://www.ray-ban.com/USA/