#relationshipgoals

These days my relationship goals are pretty simple: be kind and respectful, laugh a lot and grow old together. Basically so that Mike and I can be these people: 

However, a couple of years ago, I used to think that our relationship goals needed to be knowing and respecting each other's love language all day, every day for the rest of our lives. The smash hit The Five Love Languages, has become a bible of sorts among relationship experts, therapists and christian leaders, etc. This book leads us to believe that knowing how our spouses/significant others/friends receive love will allow to to have a better relationship and connection with them. Here's a quick break down of the five love languages: 

Gifts like diamonds 

Quality Time taking the day off work to pick out diamonds ... together 

Words of Affirmation You look so pretty in diamonds. 

Acts of Service I bought you diamonds because you slept poorly last night.  

Physical Touch holding hands while shopping for diamonds

So, to anyone who is in a relationship or who has even one friend you know that this is all a big heaping pile of BULL SHIT. We all need and want all of these things all the time because it's called respect and care and love and appreciation. All of these love languages together are the perfect recipe for any friendship and relationship. Not just one. I realize that perhaps we give more of these, and want some of these, at different times. But that doesn't mean that we should only give one all the time.

If you can't tell, after reading the book a few years ago, I identified myself as a Gifts person 110%. However, when I looked at my relationship, Mike was constantly doing Acts of Service for me and I was so frustrated! Because, for the millionth time, THAT'S NOT MY FUCKING LOVE LANGUAGE, honey. The only thing that was being created was a lack of gratitude and appreciation and healthy dose of resentment. Since I was so frustrated that he wasn't giving me gifts, you know, all the time, I failed to realize that his Acts of Service were Gifts.

Maybe this is just a way for me to admit in a safe place that,

Hello. My name is Angela and I am ALLLLLLL of the love languages.

Or maybe it's just truth. That the perfect relationship cocktail pun intended, ladies includes a dash, shot, pour and sprinkle of them all.

I can cheers to that!