Grey/Gray

While yes, this does describe my mood as of late; no, that's not what this post is about. It's about appropriate work out/running errands pants. Here's a little experiment to get my point across ...

1. Put on a pair of gray pants
2. Pee your pants
3. You're not going anywhere without changing your pants are you?

Case and point. So, if you want to wear your grey pants to run errands and it's not nine billiondy degrees read: no threat of swamp ass go ahead. But if you want to wear your gray pants to go work out or, better yet, work out and then run errands well, don't say I didn't warn you. 

Gray has a way of showing EVERYTHING. It's not as forgiving as black or white or dark green or navy ... which hide most everything. A very select, few, group of people can get away with "working out" in grey pants cause their definition of "working out" is just that ... exercise that deserves quotation marks around it. Cause it's more about reading US Weekly than it is about actually, working out. 

You want me to tell you when you have something in your teeth, right? Well. I'd certainly hope that if you looked like you peed your pants when you didn't you'd want me to tell you that too.

Pet Peeves 101

Pet Peeve: Tights as Leggings/Pants.

Ladies, ladies, LADIES (!!!). You're killing me. Below outlines not only a pet peeve but a fashion faux pas. Memorize, chant, repeat over and over, make this your mantra, whatever. Just get it in your brain: 

So, what this means is that ... it's NEVER okay to wear tights with a shirt that doesn't cover your ass. Still not getting it? It's NEVER okay to wear tights as leggings with tops that don't cover your ass. In fact, go to your closet. Move the tights out of the "pants" pile. Good. 

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the ONLY instance where this is acceptable is if you're a dancer coming or going to dance class. Or if you're Natalie Portman portraying a dancer in a film. That's it. The only time. Otherwise, wear your tights, as they are intended - under dresses or tunics that cover your precious ass. Because when you don't, you see, you take VPL's to a whole. new. level. And it makes me vomit in my mouth. 

Leggings. These are also intended to be worn with shirts, tunics, cardigans, wraps, etc. that cover your hiney. What's especially disgusting, is when you wear thread bear leggings with shirts, sweaters, etc. that don't cover said hiney. And I'm sorry, but that shit ain't right. You're just asking for your husband/boyfriend/sig other to voluntarily throw themselves in front of a moving car. Can you blame them? 

Solution: Just don't do this. Just don't. And if you think you might, invest in a full length mirror. But here's the kicker - you have to actually uuuussssse it. 

Pet Peeve: Wearing Sunglasses Indoors

This one's easy ... 

Solution Part 1: Are you blind? Is your name Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles?

Solution Part 2: Do NOT then opt for Transitions ... cause that's the creepy solution. 

I have a bone to pick...

With Ms. Jennifer Lopez. I was reading an article about her recently, and obviously, it was focusing on her just having given birth to twins. In said article, she mentions how to get back into shape she's training for a triathlon. Awesome. Go her. I can totally relate to that. I successfully trained, and am training for another, 1/2 marathon after having Bean. However, what I can't relate to is that she says this training for a tri is not cosmetic... Her reasoning for doing it is to, "make her babies proud of her." Herein lies the issue: OK. First of all, they are BABIES. Barely out of the womb. All they care about is where their next meal is coming from. Wanna make them proud? Feed them. Second of all, they are your children, they will always be proud of you unless your name is Britney Spears. Lastly, if you REALLY want to make your babies proud of you, JLo, then get rid of your nanny and 9 million personal assistants and raise your kids on your own like the rest of the world. OR, stop selling pictures of your beloved babies for millions of dollars to glossy magazines! Eh? How 'bout them apples. Oh, and by the way, JLo, your husband looks like a rat. Yea. That's right. I said it. A rat.