Grey/Gray

While yes, this does describe my mood as of late; no, that's not what this post is about. It's about appropriate work out/running errands pants. Here's a little experiment to get my point across ...

1. Put on a pair of gray pants
2. Pee your pants
3. You're not going anywhere without changing your pants are you?

Case and point. So, if you want to wear your grey pants to run errands and it's not nine billiondy degrees read: no threat of swamp ass go ahead. But if you want to wear your gray pants to go work out or, better yet, work out and then run errands well, don't say I didn't warn you. 

Gray has a way of showing EVERYTHING. It's not as forgiving as black or white or dark green or navy ... which hide most everything. A very select, few, group of people can get away with "working out" in grey pants cause their definition of "working out" is just that ... exercise that deserves quotation marks around it. Cause it's more about reading US Weekly than it is about actually, working out. 

You want me to tell you when you have something in your teeth, right? Well. I'd certainly hope that if you looked like you peed your pants when you didn't you'd want me to tell you that too.

Pet Peeves 101

Pet Peeve: Tights as Leggings/Pants.

Ladies, ladies, LADIES (!!!). You're killing me. Below outlines not only a pet peeve but a fashion faux pas. Memorize, chant, repeat over and over, make this your mantra, whatever. Just get it in your brain: 

So, what this means is that ... it's NEVER okay to wear tights with a shirt that doesn't cover your ass. Still not getting it? It's NEVER okay to wear tights as leggings with tops that don't cover your ass. In fact, go to your closet. Move the tights out of the "pants" pile. Good. 

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the ONLY instance where this is acceptable is if you're a dancer coming or going to dance class. Or if you're Natalie Portman portraying a dancer in a film. That's it. The only time. Otherwise, wear your tights, as they are intended - under dresses or tunics that cover your precious ass. Because when you don't, you see, you take VPL's to a whole. new. level. And it makes me vomit in my mouth. 

Leggings. These are also intended to be worn with shirts, tunics, cardigans, wraps, etc. that cover your hiney. What's especially disgusting, is when you wear thread bear leggings with shirts, sweaters, etc. that don't cover said hiney. And I'm sorry, but that shit ain't right. You're just asking for your husband/boyfriend/sig other to voluntarily throw themselves in front of a moving car. Can you blame them? 

Solution: Just don't do this. Just don't. And if you think you might, invest in a full length mirror. But here's the kicker - you have to actually uuuussssse it. 

Pet Peeve: Wearing Sunglasses Indoors

This one's easy ... 

Solution Part 1: Are you blind? Is your name Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles?

Solution Part 2: Do NOT then opt for Transitions ... cause that's the creepy solution. 

Lazy

Call it lazy, call it pregnancy, call it what you will, I like elevators. Typically, I do not care for elevators, except in buildings that have more than 4 floors. But with pregnancy hiking up steps is the last thing on my list of activities I want to participate in. I am hot and sweaty enough just thinking about walking from my car to the building, so I rely heavily on elevators ... to go up 4 floors mind you ... and seeing as how I'm 7 months preggers but look like I'm 9 I think my excuse is pretty solid.

What floors me are the people who have the rolling briefcases. What bothers me most about them is when they take the elevator up or down one floor because of said briefcase. Lame. Because there's nothing more aggravating in an elevator than having to stop on every floor. (I work on the 4th floor of a 4 story building ... there has been more than one occasion when we stop on every floor on the way up due to these jokers)

I'm sure these are the same people who park in handicap spots without a sticker because they don't want to walk and those who take a motorized cart around Sam's Club because they don't want to walk when they get inside either.

Motion Pictures

Thor
What a name right? But let's not judge a movie by it's name shall we? Cause, just so happens Thor is ridiculously good looking a shockingly good movie. However, you must have an affinity, at least a small one, for super heroes. Growing up with two younger brothers I was left with no choice BUT to love super heroes ... and trade X-Men cards ssshhhh.

Let's say you don't care for super heroes. That's fine. An affinity for men that look like they were chissled from a piece of molten hot lava works great too. It's a fun movie. A good break from the heat if you will. Natalie Portman is in it too. Given the option, I'd do her or Thor I don't know his name in real life.

Pirates
What's more fun than a pirate? OK, so a lot of things but still ... Johnny Depp as a pirate is a pretty fun, good time. Typically, the last few Pirates of so-and-so have bored me to tears because of the following:

a of all Keira Knightley's horrible teeth when she opens her mouth
b of all Orlando Bloom is a prissy ninny
c of all 3.5 hour long movies are just too long to watch people who have bad teeth and are prissy ninnies

So,  they have tended to put me to sleep. But, this latest installment in the Pirates of the Caribbean series kept me awake the whole time and I love, love, loved every minute of it. Also, it has mermaids!!

Pirates + Mermaids = Childhood memories
Huh? Read below:

Myth: Mermaids are real.

Fact: Regardless of that, every summer my best friend and I would go to the pool and spend all day pretending our legs were hooked together and swim around like mermaids.  

Needless to say I really, really wanted to find a body of water and pretend that I was mermaid. But I'm an adult ... And that'd just be plain silly ... *clears throat, nervous laughter*

Ugh. So annoying.

I know I've written about this before, but I think due to the severity of its annoyance it deserves to be written about again. And I've never been able to write it for the whole world to see before either. Nothing is more annoying than when you're in an empty bathroom and someone comes in and uses the stall right next to yours. Why? Why do you need to do that? Do you not like to be alone? Do you get some sort of thrilllll from knowing the person on the other side of the partition is doing the exact almost same thing? It's not only annoying; it's disgusting. You can hear EVERYthing. From the sighs, to the zipper on their pants, to the toilet paper rolling and then tearing. We're not even going to go to the #2 issue. I think we all agree that's a given at this point, and is THE most disgusting part of this issue. I mean, my head just can't get wrapped around this. I'd want the stall farthest away from the one that is occupied. No bathroom separation anxiety here. Now, it's entirely one thing if all the stalls are full... It's usually so loud in there at that point that you can't hear your own thoughts much less the person next to you. But quite another if they're empty... Common courtesy says, move along ladies, mooooove along.