Stereotypical ...

What's more stereotypical in pregnancy than pickles and ice cream? However, since I can't eat ice cream (pesky milk allergy) I will have to settle for fried pickles. And. They are heaven on earth.

Saturday night we went to a Flying Squirrels (Richmond's horribly named minor league baseball team) baseball game with Lovie and his little friend from school and her Mom and Dad. I went to the concession stand to get us some grub (where us = me) and omgah! I saw Fried Pickles on the menu and I had to try them. They were fried pickle spears which was totally bi-winning because they were tasty dill and easy to manage. Not to mention they were so, so, so good. So good in fact that when Husband went up later to get us more grub (where us = him) I requested another round of fried pickles.

Here's exactly what my delicious little friends looked like:

Well not exactly what they looked like ... mine came in a paper tray covered in grease

Swoon.

Ummm ... Would we call that, attractive???

You can read every What to Expect When You're blahblahblah book and they will tell you that there's NOTHING more beautiful and precious and desirable than being pregnant. And that everything is glorious about it eeeven if you're throwing up your life every morning. It's fine. Means the babe is healthy.

Well. Guess what's NOT attractive? Blood shot eyes + trying not to purge at work + drinking lukewarm water = I feel sooo beautiful!!

I've gone ahead and put together a list of some other "attractive" qualities in pregnancy.


Dinner Plates. - Cause we all aspire for our areolas to look like this:

Actual size during pregnancy.

Oh, and what's that? It's because the baby needs to able to see them when they're breast feeding. Awesome. Cause I'm pretty sure s/he could SEE them through a bra AND a black shirt. From a mile away. Just saying.

WARNING: Wide Load. - No matter how cute you are in the front. Turn around and take a peek at that rear ... 

Actual reaction.

A literal "OMG." But I don't think one exclamation point is enough.

Pizza. - I'm hungry ... for your face. Which looks like a 13 year old boy's or a hearty pepperoni pizza. Loves the acne. That crystal clear skin?? It's a What To Expect When You're Pregnant in Heaven lie. A pregnancy trap lie.

Sexy Can I? - Pit stains? Swamp ass? Hot. Literally. In fact during pregnancy you sweat so much that you start to think you have glandular issue.

Victoria's Secret. - Skinny bitches.

Stop sending me your magazines while I'm pregnant k? And while you're at it. Eat a mayonnaise sandwich. And for the record - my boobs are bigger than your chicken cutlet push up boobs. So. Suck it.

OK, OK that was more of a vent. A totally legit vent.

You'll start showing "sooner" with the second. - Liars!! I've looked like I was 5 months pregnant since the day I took a pregnancy test. How much "sooner" than that does it get?!?

Stoma's. - You're going to immediately be whisked into trach surgery after you deliver from all the heartburn. And nothing says to your husband that you're ready for a little romance like the voice of Stephen Hawking to seduce him.

Yes. Being pregnant is a miracle. But no, it's not pretty. Happy Easter all!!

Lovie aka Hell Boy.

Lovie is going to be 4 this year. FOUR. Can you believe it? Seems like just yesterday he looked like this:

I want to eat him alive.

And now that he's all grown up and four, he looks like this:

Too bad you can't see how cute his hammies are.

However, don't let that cute little smile and those sweet as pie crossed leggies fool you. We're going through hell a stage right now. And "we" is actually very fitting, as many days Mike and I feel like we're at our wits end and have actually reasoned why locking ourselves in a closet wouldn't be such a BAD thing?!? It'd be fine.

Apparently, what we have on our hands ladies and gentlemen, is a very stubborn and smart and hard headed little guy. Routines that used to be ... err routine ... are now a battle. From getting dressed in the morning, to pouring and subsequently eating cereal, to tucking our shirt in just so, to wanting to wet the bed at night not wanting to wear a pull-up to bed ... I could go on.

On more than one occasion it's made me consider myself the worst mother in the world. What kind of mother can I be if I apparently have no control over my child? Who in God's heaven of decision makers thought it'd be a good idea to bless me with a SECOND child OMG we're having a second child when I have done such an apparently horrible job with the first? What kind of cruel joke is this?

But alas not all days are bad thank you Baby Jesus and we've found that the closer we keep him to a schedule and the more strict, firm and consistent WE are with him the better HE is. I have heard from more than one parent that this is a stage that will pass and as long as we are firm with him things will get better. I've also found that giving him more independence and freedom work wonders for this little guy. He loves making choices on his own and he loves doing things on his own. So, we've tried to incorporate more choosing and doing. And I guess there's the whole I love him to teeny tiny pieces even when he's possessed by the devil going through this stage.

What also makes this stage so hard is that 3 was SUCH a good stage for us. Oh it was a dream and so far my absolute favorite. He was talking up a storm, potty trained, and just an over all little ham of a man. He was such a little buddy. And this stage is just so opposite. I'm looking forward to coming out of whatever this is and moving on to the next one. I know they evolve and change so I hope these are all steps forward. If there's one thing he's been from the get go it's been feisty and full of personality. Boy. Is that ever true.

*sigh* As I tell him every day, "Thank heavens you're cute."

Up to Speed

Here's what's been going in the world of Non-Momjeans since my last blog post. Yes. I realize that this was a long, long, long time ago.

Sappy.
I got married on November 6, 2010 and it will forever be the happiest day of my life. I think this picture captures how happy this day was VERY well.

My Mom described this picture as "ebullient" and I couldn't have said it better myself

Many people feel as though they were "born" to do whatever their chosen career path is, or to have kids, or to be a Mom, or to volunteer their time to a certain cause. I truly feel as though God put me on this planet to marry my husband. Nothing in this world has ever felt so right, was so happy, and so fulfilling. And married life, even though we have our days, is something I wouldn't trade for the world. I love my Lovie, don't get me wrong, but lets face it. There's nothing blissfully happy about childbirth.

Happy.
Speaking of childbirth. Fast forward to ... December 2010 and welp. I'm pregnant.

We just found out she was a "she" on Friday, April 14

Here she is. You heard that right. We are having a little girl. Our little addition to our already chaotic family will arrive on or around September 3rd. I'm hoping for August 30th though ... as my Birthday is March 30th, Lovie's is June 30th so it'd be really cool if this one carried on the "30th" tradition too. Not to mention the fact that this summer is going to be painfully and annoyingly hot.

Happy 2.0
So, this year just so happens to be The Year of the Wedding. My brother will be getting married on May 28th:

And my best friend, Jec-Jec, will be tying the knot on October 22nd:

Doesn't she look like Carrie Underwood??

I am so happy and excited for them both!