So much to do, so little time....

My family and I leave for vacation on Saturday at approximately 9am. We will be gone a week and it will be the most glorious week ever. However, before Saturday, i.e. Friday, there is just so much to do, that there simply aren't enough hours to accommodate. Here's what my Day looks like: Friday, August 1, 2008 To Do List: 1.) Go to work 2.) Somehow focus on work whilst at work 3.) Pick up Bean from day care 4.) Play with Bean 5.) Feed Bean 5.5) Somehow manage to administer medicine to Bean. This makes escaping from Alcatraz look easy. 6.) Give Bean a bath 7.) Put Bean to bed 8.) Iron clothes *shudder* 9.) Pack the rest of Bean's things for vacation: toys, toilettries, medicine, flotation devices 10.) Somehow pack for myself 11.) Go to Jec-Jec's birthday party must arrive before 10pm Uh. Not. Keep in mind that from #3 to #11 I have only 4 hours to accomplish all the tasks. I feel like I'm on a bad reality TV show!

27 going on 88

I somehow twisted a few muscles in my lower back. And boy, am I in pain. I don't usually complain about much that hurts but this, this is miserable. Just leaning over to wash my hands hurts. I'm sure it has something to do with my nonexistent core muscles, also known as abs. Ugh. I have to get better about doing abs. But they are my absolute least favorite thing to do. I feel like after doing cardio for an hour that that should suffice. Perhaps it can also be attributed to the fact that I don't lift weights. My excuse there is that I lift Bean who is 26 lbs, a lot. That MUST be better than 3 sets of 12!?!?! So, sounds like I have my work cut out for me to prevent this from happening again: 1.) strengthen abs 2.) lift weights 3.) stretch more I'll check back in on this topic in a month and we'll see where I'm at!

Cute vs. Pretty vs. Beautiful vs. Hot

What deems people to be classified in these categories? Which one is the best and which one is the most insulting? Different women/men will have differing opinions. Whilst they are all better than being called ugly/fugly/hideous, depending on the context they are used in, however, they can be slightly insulting. Lets dig in. Cute So, when I hear a guy describe a girl as "cute", I think of a short, petite, attractive but not strikingly so, gal. Conversely, when I hear a girl call a guy this, I think of a handsome, fit, and tall guy. If a celebrity were to fall into this category immediately Kate Hudson pops into my head and for the male contingent I think of Uncle Jessie. However, being called cute can also be the most annoying "compliment" ever. What the hell does it mean???!!!??? We don't look like a teddy bear and we aren't 5! So, what gives?!? Maybe Webster can help. Let me consult: 1.attractive, esp. in a dainty way; pleasingly pretty: a cute child; a cute little apartment. 2. affectedly or mincingly pretty or clever; precious: The child has acquired some intolerably cute mannerisms. Hmm. Both refer to children in the description. Case and point. Pretty I feel that this is the most insulting of the categories to be lumped into. I get the sense that it means you are OK to look at but are pretty much dead behind the eyes. Not a lot going for you. Maybe you have an attractive face but the rest of you is hurting or vice versa. I wouldn't want to be called pretty. Pretty, as in what? A good example of a celebrity gal would be Kim Kardashian and male, Jean Claude Van Damme. Neither one of these people strike me as being the total package and, I think, would be suuuuuper boring to talk to. Webster says: 1.pleasing or attractive to the eye, as by delicacy or gracefulness: a pretty face. 2.(of things, places, etc.) pleasing to the eye, esp. without grandeur. Again. Case closed. Beautiful In my opinion, this is the highest honor to bestow upon someone. It denotes that they are the total package: attractive, good personality, a nice physique, etc. They take care of themselves, in other words. What girl doesn't love to hear from her boyfriend, "You look beautiful tonight," or, "To me you are the most beautiful girl in the world." Whether they mean it or not, it's nice to hear and makes you feel on top of the world. The male equivalent to this would be handsome... gentlemanly, nice, attractive, good physique etc. Beautiful celebrities include: Jennifer Connelly and Christian Bale aka My Husband. Lets see if Webbie agrees: 1.having beauty; having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind: a beautiful dress; a beautiful speech. 2.Having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight. Yep. He concurs. Hot This is a backhanded compliment. It preeeetty much means that you are seen as a piece of meat. You'd be good for a one-night stand and it stops and ends there. Or you are so attractive that men only fantasize about you but wouldn't dare take you home to meet Mom & Dad. These guys and girls are totally unattainable by anyone than other "Hots." The perfect celebrity example would be Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Perfect. Or Fergie and Josh Duhamel. A fantasy person essentially. They exude so much sex appeal you can feel it. These guys and girls move FAST. If you are Hot and you cheat on your significant other, it's with another Hot. Webster says: Slang.

a.	sexually aroused; lustful.

b.	sexy; attractive.

Again, case and point. These are merely my opinions. A coworker brought up the topic the other day and got me thinking. Now, I'm sure many people who have been called any, or all, of the categories were pleased to be classified as such. However, after personally being called any or all of these throughout the years, you realize which ones have meaning and which ones are meaningless. Again, all are better than being called ugly or But-her-face pronounced Butterface.

Virginia isn't only for Lovers....

It's also for college enthusiasts. Allow me to explain. Virginians love college. More importantly they love to advertise their love of their particular college on shirts, hats, flip flops and sometimes shorts. They will wear their particular college shirt everywhere; clubbing, shopping, golfing, exercising, and casual Friday. You don't have to have gone to a Virginia college to partake in the college pride. You will see various colleges represented on the aforementioned paraphernalia; Tennessee, Ohio State, Georgia, UC of whatever. Some take the Virginia college pride to the extreme, we call these people "brosephs" or "brahs" emphasis on the -ah. You will also see these people with "wings," longish hair that curls out from underneath a ball cap. Said ball cap is noticeably dirty and frayed on the ends and look like you'd get head lice just from looking at it. Rest assured this was done intentionally. And if you were to follow broseph to his car, you'd find that it was some sort of Acura, Toyota SUV, or Jeep something-or-other. You don't have to be of the male gender to be called a "brah" or "broseph" but can you imagine what a COMPLIMENT that'd be for a gal? Ha. These people also never miss a game that their college is playing in and more likely than not, their college isn't very good at the particular sport they are going to watch that day. Example: the brah loves college football, but his/her college is reallllly bad at it. But they will talk to their friends/coworkers/anyone who will listen about their team as if they are the #1 seed. Another characteristic is that they no doubt still party as if they are in college, this will go on well into their early-, to mid-, (sometimes late-, if they are still single) 30's.

The Warm/Fuzzies

I think that in the history of friends, I have the best that ever existed. So, here I have this child, who turned one a month ago, and due to my procrastination and other extraneous factors, had to have his birthday a month later, and they all came out for it. Not only that, but 80% of them live 2 hours away. It makes me feel so loved, and it means a lot to me that they'd come out for Bean. So friends, I love you all soooo much, and I can't put into words how much it means to me that you came out for Bean's birthday. I just wish that we had more time to visit and I feel bad that you drove all that way for not a very long period of time. If there's anything I can do to pay you back you let me know. Love, love, love.

Ugh. So annoying.

I know I've written about this before, but I think due to the severity of its annoyance it deserves to be written about again. And I've never been able to write it for the whole world to see before either. Nothing is more annoying than when you're in an empty bathroom and someone comes in and uses the stall right next to yours. Why? Why do you need to do that? Do you not like to be alone? Do you get some sort of thrilllll from knowing the person on the other side of the partition is doing the exact almost same thing? It's not only annoying; it's disgusting. You can hear EVERYthing. From the sighs, to the zipper on their pants, to the toilet paper rolling and then tearing. We're not even going to go to the #2 issue. I think we all agree that's a given at this point, and is THE most disgusting part of this issue. I mean, my head just can't get wrapped around this. I'd want the stall farthest away from the one that is occupied. No bathroom separation anxiety here. Now, it's entirely one thing if all the stalls are full... It's usually so loud in there at that point that you can't hear your own thoughts much less the person next to you. But quite another if they're empty... Common courtesy says, move along ladies, mooooove along.

I have a bone to pick...

With Ms. Jennifer Lopez. I was reading an article about her recently, and obviously, it was focusing on her just having given birth to twins. In said article, she mentions how to get back into shape she's training for a triathlon. Awesome. Go her. I can totally relate to that. I successfully trained, and am training for another, 1/2 marathon after having Bean. However, what I can't relate to is that she says this training for a tri is not cosmetic... Her reasoning for doing it is to, "make her babies proud of her." Herein lies the issue: OK. First of all, they are BABIES. Barely out of the womb. All they care about is where their next meal is coming from. Wanna make them proud? Feed them. Second of all, they are your children, they will always be proud of you unless your name is Britney Spears. Lastly, if you REALLY want to make your babies proud of you, JLo, then get rid of your nanny and 9 million personal assistants and raise your kids on your own like the rest of the world. OR, stop selling pictures of your beloved babies for millions of dollars to glossy magazines! Eh? How 'bout them apples. Oh, and by the way, JLo, your husband looks like a rat. Yea. That's right. I said it. A rat.

Random Happenings

I'm not a big fan of food that requires an excessive amount of chewing. I find it to be so boring and tiresome. This could be part of the reason why I'm not a big fan of pork chops, steak, Dots and Sugar Daddy's. Sadly, this is the main reason why I will NOT, ever, eat beef & broccoli at a Chinese restaurant. The beef is always like rubber! So, I tend to stick to chicken quite a bit more. I like pork, especially a nice pork tenderloin, or pulled pork (yummmmm BBQ!), but pork chops are ALWAYS tough. My brother MBD, just completed a week-long film camp at the Central Virginia Film Institute. He got to be the director of a movie that was showcased at the end of the week to the family and friends of the kids who attended the camp. He was totally in his element and I'm so super proud of him. He's so talented. It's amazing to see your siblings grow up and develop such wonderful gifts. He's also a PHENOMENAL chef; so, be it directing movies or being a chef... He'll be creating masterpieces, either way. My other brother JCD, had jaw surgery recently. He gets his mouth un-"wired" on Tuesday of next week! He's so excited. As we all are. Just in time for vacation too! How's that for timing. He's been through a lot this past year and he's handled it all remarkably well. CWG, one of my most dearest and bestest friends, has the most wonderful family. Bean and I has the pleasure of meeting them this past Saturday. They are so fun, and nice, and have great accents! He and his family are from the Mid West. It's always a joy to meet your friend's families and hear about their childhood, and see who they look like the most. His Dad in this case. It was a fun-filled day... Bean and I also had the joy of seeing SJ's new non-bachelor pad. He has a great view of Arlington/Clarendon and even DC! He's on the 16th floor, so it was kinda disorienting to look over the balcony. He has a tomato plant out there, that looks like if it could talk it'd say, "I'm so hot! And suuuuuper thirsty." But, that's what the tomato plant gets for being in an apartment. Lastly, Bean is walking almost 100% of the time now. He's so good at it! It's crazy. Time has gone by much too quickly. My favorite is when I go to pick him up at day care, I run to him with my arms open wide, and he toddles over to me as quickly as his little legs will take him, throws his chubby little arms around my neck, and gives me a big ol' wet kiss right on the nose. That makes my YEAR, right there.

Computers

Like most things lately, I have a love/hate relationship with computers. Love: e-mail, blogging, spying on Myspace and Facebook, reading other's blogs, Google. Hate: Word, error messages, screen freezes, no or slow internet connection, and that they require passwords for EVERYthing. Inevitably, computers ALWAYS break or screw up or don't do what they are supposed to do when I am around them. Your computer could be working perfect. I approach and it decides it has a virus and proceeds to the blue screen of death. The IT guy who is called over acts annoyed and asks you 5 different ways, "What'd you do to break it?" After coming up with 9 million different ways of spelling your name in numbers for passwords to "fix" it, he determines that, "the only way to fix it is to get a new one." Or, Mr. Help Desk, how about throwing it out the window? Hmmmmm????? Methinks that too would solve the problem. Computers, like most men, are douche bags and I wish that I didn't rely on them (computers) so much. Dependency, especially on electronics is an epidemic, it's the Ebola of our generation. I firmly believe that there are some people out there who don't know how to communicate unless they are typing on a keypad. And, you can bet that iiiiiiiii will get matched up with THEM on an internet date, that will be missssserable and further cement the fact that iiiiiiiii am going to be BITTER and LONELY for the rest of my computer-hating life! But that's another blog for another day.

The Yielder

The Yielder takes driving seriously. When they took drivers ed, not only did they pass, they took it again the next year to make sure they were still able to get a perfect score. The Yielder takes a yield sign to heart. To them it IS a yellow stop sign; and they WILL stop before merging. Nevermind that they've single handedly managed to piss of the growing line of cars behind them. For they have traffic signs to obey. The Yielder's signature trademark is going 20-30 mph when merging onto 95/495/395/66/50/288, etc. This is to ensure that they have an all clear and to be certain that no crazies are going to speed up behind them. When The Yielder is in the zone, there's no one else who matters. They have places to go and they want to be sure that their Mercury Sable/Ford Taurus, gets them there in one piece. The Yielder never goes more than 5 over the speed limit. And the rare occasion they do, it's only when on one of America's major highways. During high traffic times, The Yielder gets a thrill out of going the speed limit in the fast lane. For this is how they live dangerously. Seeing people get frantic and zipping in front of them only fuels their fire. For The Yielder is the one who will ride next to another Yielder in the next lane, so as to prohibit the crazies from passing them. Oh the thrill! Oh the fingers they will get! The Yielder lives for the Sunday morning drive. For this is THEIR time. Fire up that Mercury; The Yielder's going for a ride.

I never thought I'd do it...

But it was on sale. And it was the last one. And it was in my size. So, I caved. I got a running skirt. The link takes you to the exact one I got. I always thought they were the dumbest idea. I wasted countless hours (OK, minutes) wondering "Why a skirt? Who would want to RUN in a skirt for heaven's sake?!?" I just couldn't rationalize it in my brain. Then, it dawned on me, if you have a skirt on it hides the crotch area so you don't have to worry about wedgies and camel this and thats, and riding up etc. Your rear is covered so you don't have to worry about the VPL's (visible panty lines) and a swampy rear end. AND the best part is that they have bike shorts underneath the skirt! So, no chaffing issues or flashing. Much to my surprise, it's ultra comfy. I tried it out for the first time the other nightt and it made me glad I got it. Nike, you've made a believer out of me. I'd also like to give a shout out to Dick's and their sidewalk sale. However, I still have one minor bone to pick, these puppies are not cheap-$60 regular price. I'm sorry, call me crazy, but I'll take a swampy rear over a $60 RUNNING SKIRT any day. **Due to writers block this blog was taken from my most recent Myspace one. Apologies to those who have already read it.**

Numero Uno!

So, today marks the best day of my week. Thinking that these blog spot blogs cost a pretty penny, my good friend Mrs. Bear told me that blog spot blogs are FREE! fist-pump! Now, my words can be read by troves of thousandsssss and million-bazillions of people. Boy does someone think highly of herself...whew. This is truly a fantastic thing. I have a dippy lil blog on Myspace but you can't do fun things with it like make it look pretty or have it be seen by more than your friends on Myspace. Needless to say I am very 'cited! My blog is titled A Day in the Life of Non-Momjeans because I am Mom to a precious one year-old boy (referred to as Bean) and he will just be mortified (as will I) if I am caught dead in Momjeans. Also, this title is fitting because I tend to do things a bit against the grain...be it by choice or sheer user-error. For instance, there's a groove-thang-shakin song on the radio called Sexy Can I by Ray J; with an ever so perverse lyric that goes, "Sexy can I visit you at work/When you're sliding down the pole/No panties/No shirt." I turn this lyric into a sing-songy nursery rhyme and sing it to my Bean. Who giggles to no end and starts to smile when I start with the first word. I am fully aware that this cannot go on forever, nor do I want to be that Mom, but for now, I'm fine with it.